i'm telling you...

...it won't work

"I'm telling you, it won't work! - I hate doing the dishes and ironing stuff. I'm telling you, it won't work! I can't even boil eggs or make a sandwich. I'm telling you, it won't work. I need my personal space and I hate sharing. I'm telling you, it won't work. I hate your big-bellied beer-drinker soccer-playing friends! I'm telling you, it won't work. I get crazy jealous even if you read a book and take your eyes off me for a second. I'm telling you, it won't work! I'm a lousy listener and I only care about myself. I'm telling you, it won't work!"

"But we can still try, right?"

excerpt from the EXTRATERRESTRIAL BEAR RELATIONSHIPS, page 1